The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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