I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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