if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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