she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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