Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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