So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
