i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
