i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
