someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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