Where is the hickey?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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