I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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