Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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