I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My dick has a subreddit
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
