I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
