i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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