Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
