You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
