Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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