Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize