Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize