I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
no, he came in my armpit
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize