singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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