My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You need Xanax blowdarts
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Holy shit dude........stairs
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