Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
