Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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