Buhtt sex?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
