No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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