I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
