fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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