I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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