sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
