Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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