PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
