i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
