a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
