He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
