Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
