Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize