where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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