you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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