I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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