So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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