stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
