If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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