whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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