I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
