Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
