she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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