Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
