hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We named our party play list daddy issues
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
