in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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