Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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