I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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