dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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