question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize