Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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