haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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