This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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