I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize