omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
