is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
