Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is wine microwaveable?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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