Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just forgot I was standing up.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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